From the recording Miscellaneous Tunes

The Funky Thang is just that - a funky little number recorded live from The Black Orchid here in El Paso. It's a good little number I wrote in the 1990s if I'm not mistaken. Once some funk-master said to me, "That ain't funk!" I said, "Well, it is to me."

Lyrics

If you want to see me
baby please won't you come on by (2x)
If you've only come to hurt me
please don't make me cry

If you want to talk to me
baby, call me up on the telephone
If you want to talk to me
take out a quarter
stick it in the slot
and dial up my God-damned number!
If you've only called to hurt me...
wait a minute baby

If you want some of my money
ask me for some of my change
If you want some of my hard-earned money
baby just ask me for a little bit of my change
If you've only come to rob me...
wait a minute baby